Appearance

You are not a medical monstrosity. Skinny-fat syndrome is nothing more than a distinguished physical appearance resulting from a unique adipose distribution atop a rather linear under-muscled frame. For the record, “adipose” is the technical term for body fat. And I prefer to refer to someone’s jiggly bits as “adipose” because “fat” also is an edible nutrient. Worlds shouldn’t collide lest you want to be a smooth brainer that believes eating fat makes you fat.

Anyway, as mentioned, skinny-fat “syndrome” is an appearance. Someone with pointy shoulders and prize-sized love handles can be described as “skinny-fat,” just as someone with straight-cut bangs can be described as “ugly” (with Bulma being an obvious exception). Unfortunately, you can’t change your skeleton without stitches and scars. You’re stuck with your linear bone structure. (To this day, I can wrap my hand around the opposite wrist and touch my pinky finger to my thumb.) Your mom and dad gave you wide hips, narrow shoulders, and a paper-thin bone structure. You can blame them for your round and delicate jaw structure, too. You didn’t hit the genetic lottery. This shouldn’t come as a surprise.

If you had great genes, you wouldn’t be here. You’d be getting paid millions of dollars to maneuver an inflated ball across a line or into a hoop somewhere. Having great genes, the kind of genes that ensure six-pack abs regardless of your most embarrassing vices, is the exception rather than the rule. To go to mall. You’ll see some bad genes. And even worse jeans. (Denim is the devil’s fabric.)

Fortunately, none of your nanoparticles can keep you skinny-fat forever. Your barebone skeleton increases your odds of appearing skinny-fat, no doubt, but the rock-bottom reason you look skinny-fat is because you have too much adipose jelly and not enough muscle meat. And even though you don’t have grade-a genes, none of the cellular seeds you sprouted from are preventing you from losing adipose and building muscle.

Imagine if you were abandoned at birth and raised by hunter-gatherers, like the Hadza of Tanzania. They hunt baboon. Baboon. Would you still be skinny-fat if you hunted baboon? Get real. Your lifestyle influences your body composition and your body composition influences your appearance.

The good news? You don’t have to move to Tanzania and hunt creatures with incisors the size of pick axes. You just have to alter your eating habits and your exercise habits. These two aspects of your life have the most influence on your body composition (assuming you live a relatively sane existence). And so, the question you should be asking yourself at this point is:

“How do I adjust my eating and exercise habits to lose adipose and build muscle?”

Well…

You don’t.

To find out why, continue ahead to Part 3 of 6-Pack School.